Most of you know I am the oldest of ten children. My extended family is quite large and my in-laws are many as well. I’m blessed that we are for the most part a harmonious family with only minor skirmishes creating fleeting issues.
I am further blessed by the people that are not related to me by blood or marriage or any legal definition, but are nonetheless members of my chosen family. (Thanks for getting me thinking about this Kim G and Angela.) They are the people I love and who love me. They began as work colleagues or employees, friends of friends, people I met at a social gathering and we hit it off, authors with my publisher, college dorm mates, childhood neighbors, high school friends, or people who read my novels . I follow the ups and downs of their lives and, when possible, I try to make them a little smoother, slightly easier. I firmly believe it always helps to know you are loved—no matter what dire circumstances you find yourself in—and love triples the joy in happy times.
Years ago, our friends’ young daughter explained to me that even though she called me Aunt Kim, I really wasn’t her aunt. I think she believed that I didn’t know it was an honorary title. When I ask why I wasn’t, she patiently explained that since I wasn’t her poppi’s sister or mommy’s sister and Uncle Jim wasn’t their brother, I would never be her aunt. I asked her why she called me Aunt Kim if I wasn’t really related to her. She thought for a moment and said, “Because you’re someone we love.” I’ll gladly embrace that definition of aunthood.
One of my sisters-of-the-heart has been battling cancer and she recently sent me this definition of family: Family is not about blood. It’s about who is willing to hold your hand when you need it the most. I love this definition and I would add that hand holding can be done virtually through prayers, cards, letters, phone calls, text messages and emails, too. There are countless ways to let someone know you are there for them. Of course, nothing replaces an in person hug, if there is a way to make that happen.
I feel twice blessed because I have blood relatives and in-laws who I would happily want to include in both my traditional family and in my chosen family. Think about the people in your life who could use some encouragement, some love, some hope. Make the first step—choose them to join your family. Love your neighbor as yourself. You’ll be amazed how the love you give is returned to you tenfold. Enjoy!